Guten Morgen!

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There is no wrong side of the bed in Germany, but hearing the sound of a drill at 8 a.m. wasn't my preferred way to wake up. I realize the mood it put me in, and that I need to get out of it. This feeling will pass after I write.

Recently, I have discovered to pick my battles. I am normally very pacifistic unless I see someone else getting steamrolled in a situation. Lately, though, I have realized I do need to stand up for myself at times. In regards to others, though, I think of my mother and what she is going through at the moment. I stood up for her when my sister became unruly even in her sedentary, painful state. I think of my father, too, because I know all the stress he bears and he wants to put blame somewhere. Circumstance was and is the issue; no single person is at fault for all the time we have spent in the hospital. The irony is that poor health brought the fragments of my family together to save all persons that comprise it.

I am leaving the academic world very soon unless I do pursue knowledge of laws and environmental policies. Further education would be very expensive and adequate employment to pay for it seems to be difficult to gain due to how economics are being portrayed (I do plan to search for scholarships).

Also, I am still learning lessons. Since June, I have learned how to smile and look people in the eye when I talk to them--two things I strayed from after living with a very angry person who only communicated with me via Post-It notes. Now I stare in your eyes as we discover new bits of each other's irises. I smile. I don't stop smiling.

I smile because I consider love. It did happen, and I cannot move from it. I have thought about how the cold will come in New York, but so much warmth resides within walls there. I have not seen these walls yet, but I know the comfort of the arms that have resided within them. I felt these arms last night on a jungle gym, wrapped around me while we contemplated the Earth's orbit and the passing of time and the colors and shapes of things.

I am happy.