peace tip #17

PEACE TIP #17
Appreciate everything.


It's the night before Halloween, and Justin is busy sewing a Max costume. Mr. Sparkles' impeccable patience persists with each and every stitch! I will be a Wild Thing clothed in a cut and tied sheet.

Once upon a time, everything was handmade.

Creativity is natural

I sit here Sunday night reflecting on a beautiful weekend. Should we run? ... Why not, I reply; the next adventure begins. We are wearing our rain coats due to the rains futile attempts at changing the worlds plans. I will never let a little rain persuade me against time with Emily. Click click click with rogue waves in our thoughts we roll towards the concrete world of everything. There are never any formal plans when setting off on a quick stroll through time but who ends up following them anyway. Tired already lulled to sleep with a tuff of blond hair in my lap we arrive; color in our eyes and coffee in our nostrils. Why do express trains always miss your stop? Maybe we are all meant to explore more then expected and venture off in places we do not know. 3 floors down with the city winding above our heads we seek out the only show in town, MoMA. The lights are right and the colors are perfect its been to long since I have been here, many of the paintings have moved and that old excitement creeps in. 15 minutes to closing and I feel a hand on my calf, its time to go and Cuban food awaits.

peace tip #16

PEACE TIP #16
Learn.


A few admirable universities, including MIT and UCLA, have been making videos of classes freely available to anyone with an Internet connection. Justin and I are watching coursework on biological engineering and environmental law. It's hard to miss the classroom when the living room doubles as a lecture hall.

I am proud of my generation and those that have helped raise it. We are a world of people working together to achieve good. We learn of evils, of course, but we use hindsight and current situations to push them out of their place.

Justin caught a string of consciousness the other night and came to a conclusion that I've heard once before--there is an elusive balance of good and bad. Both of us had the yin yang on our minds, with its contrasting parts pushing against each other. Less we spend our entire life trying to define what is right and what is wrong, let us help others protect themselves from anything that could override them. Make information known. Don't create divisions. Don't assume positions, but don't limit what goes into your head. Consider it. Process it. Evaluate it. Accept or dismiss what people like Kant had to say, and remember that there are other people breathing your air, others aspiring for their definitions of happiness. Help them, and they'll help you.

peace tip #15

PEACE TIP #15.
Sleep.


College introduced me to constantly expanding thoughts and the inability to sleep. Restlessness is not conducive to an inner calm, that's for sure.

I found out recently that the blood spatter from my fall face-first down the stairs in February may have had something to do with the medication I take to bring slumber. The phrase "MAY CAUSE SEIZURES" was printed right beside a bullet on a prescription information write-up.

I think of Layla Yousefi, whose smiling face remains on my ankle. She is survived by Chris and Lily.

At a friend's advice, I am trying to squelch my belief that I can't sleep without a tablet. With a warm body beside me coaching on deep breathing techniques and beginning the lucidity of dreaming, my mind goes blank, my eyes grow heavy, and my consciousness eventually turns to peaceful black on its own.

Emily Fights

Sticker found in Old Heidelberg - August 2009

art night in Poughkeepsie

Justin is building a rock climbing wall.

I retract that. We are building a rock climbing wall, and Justin is going to wire it to create music as the climber ascends.

Tonight, we sculpted holds. We painted in the evening. Somewhere in Stuttgart, Germany, a statue has googly eyes glued on it. Life is terrific and happy.



The weather kind of sucks (i.e., cold, sleety rain and cloudy gray monotone), but we're warm and productive. I am 34.5 percent finished making a wild thing costume. Justin will be the acclaimed Max, complete with Converse that are the same color the sky was today. He'll wear a crown while we hang where the wild things are on Halloween.

peace tip #14

PEACE TIP #14:
Don't sell out on ideals.


Had I not read an unpublished post by Justin, I would likely be remnants of an explosion created from self-induced pressure to strive for a perceived American dream: employment. I lasted one day as sales representative for a marketing business that reduces credit card fees by making pitches and gathering signatures door to door. I tried to rationalize with the idea of helping local businesses save money and that an hour and a half commute was worth the commission. I claim the label of temporarily irrational.

I am likely exaggerating on atrocities involved and understanding that beggars can't be choosers, but I refuse to be surrounded by aspirations summed up by the phrase of "make mo' money." Helping people is good, but I quickly understood that it wasn't necessarily the drive behind the suited people involved. Plus, if I ever become convinced again that driving for three hours per day is acceptable, I beg you, dear reader, to take my foot out of my brain.

My mother mentioned that she'll hope for the day I am successful career wise in such a way that was measured by a salary higher than her own. Me dreaming of such seems salacious considering that my scope is a bit worldly, acknowledged lofty and idealistic, but more perceivably realistic. I know love, and I know it could be daunted by greed and submitting to financial motivations and its slavery.

Thank you, Justin, for what you wrote. Thank you for finding me. Thank you for showing me what it feels like to have someone care and for discouraging me to pursue something akin to soulful torture. Thank you for your positivity and your willingness to help. Thank you for enabling me with love and granting me confidence. Thank you for not letting me let myself get sucked in a world I despise. Thank you for existing.

Its fall and its cold.

The cold air is coming, night quickly outpaces day and hats & scarf's are becoming the norm. Where did summer go, my memory has me stuck in July; waters were warmer and sandals kept your feet safe from hot sand. The northeast has had a funny year from what I hear, I only say this because of late I haven't been much of a northerner and find myself missing the south. With a southern state of mind thinking about cool summer evenings Emily and I got ready to wonder in the dark with a few hundred bundled, gloved, and down jacket individuals looking for a scare. There were corn fields, drak hallways, rooms that look like meat lockers and plenty of screams to be heard.

Getting ready for the trip through the haunted world Emily and I find ourselves running, new shoes on foot towards the car in the cold air. We arrived in New Paltz a few hours earlier with high hopes of frisbee. The sun was high, clouds reflected across the perfect blue sky and running continued. We chased the plastic white disk in short bursts of speed that proves valuable when heading from commitment to commitment.

Running into the apartment there was just 10 minutes left and we were right on time, but time changed and pushed us faster. A feat not met by many was beat that night; I challenge you to park, shower, dress, eat and drink a beer in 10 min or less while preparing to rush across town. Throw in the realization that your wearing a cowboy shirt and sweater exactly the same outfit your partner in crime chose to wear who also was able shower, dress, eat, and drink a gin and tonic all in a 10 minute window.

Lights on wheels moving we arrive at Adams house, the iPod is blasting something upbeat and again we find ourselves running. There is a house full of strangers and the show is about to begin. Piling into 3 cars we are again off for an adventure. No longer running realizing that the cold will be an issue we are cattle moving from fence to fence waiting in anticipation for the monsters to come out. Arriving at the first house after an amusing hay ride and story I find myself more scared of the cold then the blood and guts that await us. 12 walk in and only 10 walk out with their heads up, I would like to think I wasn't scared but I would be lying to myself, all dark hallways with strange sounds and bodies in bags hanging from the ceiling scare me.

peace tip #13

PEACE TIP #13:
Travel.


It's catching up--all the magnificence of the past several months. All the people I met. All the stories I heard. I take all the roaming to this place of settlement along water and clouds, and realize that the world is huge and I am small, but I can be one among it.

I can offer love. I can offer empathy. I can offer my own experiences. Singlehandedly, I can not break the traditions of bloodshed caused by separation in ideals, but I can seek to understand it and embrace a hope of an earthly utopia.


Ask any eco-system
Harm here is harm there
And there and there
And aggression begets aggression
It's a very simple lesson
That long preceded any king of heaven
And there's this brutal imperial power
That my passport says I represent
But it will never represent where my heart lives
Only vaguely where it went

'Cuz I know when you grow up surrounded
By willful ignorance
You learn that mercy has its own country
And that it's round and borderless
And then you just grow wings
And rise above it all

-- ani difranco

peace tip #12

PEACE TIP #12:
Build bridges.


Connect to people, walk with them, and never burn what's behind you even if it gets rough.

*

Yesterday, the Walkway over the Hudson opened. City planners turned a mile and a half of an old burned rail bridge into a trek with a beautiful view. I witnessed an eclectic crowd including clowns on stilts, unicyclists, and magicians, revel in celebration of something deemed to be part of the Hudson River Valley's heritage. I heard strange accents and loved the bits of enthusiastic conversations I gathered as I ran across the concrete and steel structure with the masses. I never thought I would be writing this, but I think I love New York.